while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Randomize
