I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
