smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
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