Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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