oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
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