Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
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