This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
