Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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