you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
