I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Randomize
