we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Randomize
