You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
well I can't set my house on fire every night
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Randomize
