Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
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