here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Randomize
