I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
Can I color on your dick again?
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Randomize
