oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Randomize
