Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
3pm strippers are depressing
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Randomize
