college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
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