It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
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