I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
