capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
