i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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