Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Randomize
