So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
