there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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