In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Randomize
