the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
Enjoy the penises
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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