4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
mondays should just be called national damage control day
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
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