wakey wakey hands off snakey
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
