Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
