I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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