Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Randomize
