5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
