She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Randomize
