I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
