im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
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