i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
