marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Randomize
