period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
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