So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
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