laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
These tits shall not be calmed
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
Randomize
