she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
The uberlube is also flammable
me + whiskey = a bad person
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Randomize
