I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
