I think im going to throw up on grandma
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
Randomize
