apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
It's like God shit irony all over that family
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
Randomize
