So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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