$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
We had to coat check the pizza.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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