I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
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