I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
My life is pants optional.
Randomize
