Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
