I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
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