If that was your dad, he is hot
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
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