I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Randomize
