I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize
