i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Naked. naked and bneed help.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
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