why didn't you poke me back
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Randomize
