i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
